The Fourth watch God

Yesterday I started listening to a talk on tape from deseret books. I LOVED the message in it. The title of the talk was the fourth watch. It pays reference to the old times where the lasts shift for watch would be just before sunrise and was called the fourth watch. The talk explained that as humans we all wish that our God was a "First watch God" as in, he would rescue us from our sorrows, heartaches and whatever we think we need on the first watch. Or in other words right away. He explained that we do not have that kind of God we have a wise one who will wait until we need the comfort or the respite to come. Sometimes we have to gain experience first to gain understanding and then and only then can we receive that blessing.

He shared the example of his father leaving when he was a baby. He had little contact with him through his growing up years. Every few years starting at age 14 he asked God to help him forgive his father for what he had done, and to feel peace. Year after year he prayed and nothing happened. One day, after several children, as he sat in his chair his two boys came in. They just stood in front of him. At that moment his life flashed before him and he saw all the happy memories he had with his boys. It was then that he heard his Father in Heaven say to him "It is better to be the son who lost his father than to be the father who lost his son." In that moment he knew that to understand and to forgive and to be touched by what he heard, he had to have lived long enough to make those memories with his sons and to know what he had as a father. he realized that his father had no idea what he was missing, but he did. Because he had the experiences.
I was thinking about how many times we expect to be rescued now, and without the experiences that we have in life it is sometimes impossible for him to teach us what we need to learn. That is until the timing is right. The speaker suggested that perhaps we should be able to pick the time that we are taken care of on the "first watch." But Our Father who is all knowing KNOWS when to come in on the the first watch. It is with forgiveness. He always is there on that first watch and ready to grant us the peace we desire, without waiting. In my life I have felt this stronger than anything else. My Father in Heaven gives me forgiveness and love as instantly as i can receive it. I look back on my hot- headness early on after my first divorce, how bull headed I was in seeing things so one-way. It took me a long time to humble myself enough to really ask for the Lords help to ease my pain and to grant me forgiveness for my imperfections, as well as forgive others of theirs. I remember the moment like it was yesterday and its been many years ago, when I sat in a church bench at a single conference and closed my eyes for one moment and prayed in my heart...all I said was "Heavenly Father, I am ready to let go and be free of the shackles on me, I want to forgive and I want to be forgiven, I need to feel peace" Up until that moment I had spent a year fighting, and being stubborn, doing things my way because after all my way would surly be better,( because I know myself, right?) I remember how quickly I felt the peace wash over me. I felt a literal weight being lifted from my shoulders, I felt physically lighter, and I felt whole again. It took me over 30 years to realize how instantaneous Gods love is, and more importantly I felt an immense impression on my mind saying that all I had to do was ask, he was just waiting for me. Since then there have been many times I have felt this love wash over me. The impression left a mark on me like nothing had before that point, that I have to be willing to move in his direction, because HE is always waiting for me to come.
I know that he stand willing to comfort us and to give us what we need, and yes he is a God of the fourth watch because he is a God who wants us to learn to lean on him and put our trust in him, and after the trial of our faith he will work miracles.