The good and the bad...(But no Ugly)

Today I was in my early morning group training and carrying some kettle bells. These are massive weights that come in all diff. weights. (They kind of look like a rounded bell.)So as to not throw my back out this week I started with the lightest ones to walk around the gym with while the other people ran stairs with theirs. As I got half way around the gym my hips and back started to feel the pull. As I finished I asked my trainer how much they weighed. He said they were 18 pounds a piece. I thought about the two that I carried around and realized that this was almost exactly what I had lost already. I realized that I AM feeling lighter and that my back IS getting better. This week when I went to my kids Cross country meet I thought as I walked from the car on the crowded streets all the way to the other side of the park. I remember not too many months ago I would agonize about how far I would have to park away from things and really throw a fit in my head about how inconvenient it would be for me. As I crossed the lawn, carrying a 20 pound lawn chair I felt amazing. I thought to myself how I would not have minded walking across the ENTIRE huge park that day.I went shopping on Friday and I dropped two shirt sizes. I was kind of shocked when the gal who was helping me grabbed a bunch of 2x clothes (I have a closet full of 4x and 5x clothes) I was just standing there thinking to myself "she is gonna have to go back and get me a bigger size" So I tried them on and you know what? they ALL fit...to my amazement. I left with a lot of clothes. (and a couple new bras because mine were pathetic and hugely gapping on me in an area we DON'T want gapping) I look good. I feel good. I feel alive. I feel like I am living life and not just watching it pass by. I no longer dread getting up, running up the stairs to take the garbage out, working hard, working out, walking 4 miles, biking ten miles or doing ANYTHING I want to do that involves me moving. I am truly living my best life ever. Is it perfect? No way. But is it perfect for me? YES. I am happy right now in this moment. I am happy with how my life is right now, imperfections and all. And you know that last pound to 40 is still on me, but I dont care. I am doing the best I can with my eating and working out and it will come eventually. I can only try to make the journey the best ever and the rest will come in time, and I am ok with that.(Thats a change.)