church today

Today was an amazing day for me. I had my dearest friend Kim with me at church and I was able to go to the women's meeting for the first time in like over 2 years (due to being the nursery leader for that long) It was amazing. First on Sunday school we talked about the pure love of Christ and how we have nothing if we do not have it. It made me reflect a lot on my life and how I could improve on the concept of true unconditional love. I believe that in the definition of the pure love of Christ we would find that word, unconditional. but as I have thought about this subject a lot in the last few days on my own I have had some personal conclusions that I have come to. I always thought that unconditional love meant that you had to accept all things about all people. There are groups that I do not share the same beliefs with, but I do respect them as people. Being unconditional means that we love no matter what, that however does not include excepting bad behavior from others and there is a point with some that you have to separate yourself from them when their behaviors become destructive. That is the hard part about this concept for me. I think I have a "I wanna save you" mentality sometimes. I want everyone to be happy, loved and taken care of. Not that that is in itself a terrible character flaw to want to help others BUT it is a great sin in that the only one who truly holds the power to heal, feel and take total care of us and those around us, is the Savior. So how do we find a good balance? We talked about gifts in the same lesson. We talked about how important it is to not only share our talents but recognize the gifts in others. I think this was the greatest thing I learned and upon further reflection I realized that we NEED that as human beings. We need to know that we are ok. We need to hear that from our friends. We can use our gifts to help and strengthen each other. This is our purpose because after all we are all just trying to do the best we can to be more like the Savior and we can really help each other on that journey.

Relief Society was simply INSPIRING. I so wished that I had grabbed my journal on my way out. I used to make it a habit to write down the feelings I had or things that I felt impressed to write down. Things were coming at me so quickly that I could hardly keep up with them. The whole idea is that Satan ALWAYS lies. Always. No exceptions. He attacks all good things and persuades us to feel badly about who we are or what we have done. I have seen him creep into my mind over the last 6 weeks or so since my husband and I parted ways. Thoughts that told me that there was no way that I would ever be loved by anyone ever again and that I was a failure. I should have known that this attack would be constant and I should have expected it. I allowed the thoughts to roll around in my head and at times felt like it must be true. I laugh because one thing I have always said is that Satan is the Worst friend you could have because he NEVER tells you the truth about who you are. We are all infinitely worthwhile because we come from God. We have potential beyond what we can realize. One quote that stuck with me was one made By Pres. Eyring that shared an experience in which he heard the spirit tell him "if you know how great your potential was you would work harder." Something to that effect. That's what I got from it.Is that not true? We all would, I am certain, be astonished at our own potential. The lesson that Cody gave made me just so excited to go home and be the best I could be! I feel as if I could do so many important things in my lifetime. I am not limited by my singleness, but rather there are opportunities that I can find no matter my marital status! That makes me HAPPY!I am off to make a difference in the life of my children and myself, and who knows maybe many more lives....