Happiness

The last few days I have been reflecting on what makes people happy and why some choose to be happy and others are victims of their lives. Now I think perhaps we all go through that stage where we blame others for why we are not successful or we blame the fact that we are not better on something or someone. I used to do it with my weight all the time. After a lot of introspection I realized that I wasn't losing the weight because if I lost it then I would have to accept responsibility when things didn't work out with my relationships, work, or personally with goals I set. I blamed everything bad on my weight. After the realization of that I decided to take personal responsibility for me. As I have rolled the idea around the last three days I have come to some conclusions. Growth is the awnser to everything. Absolutely everything. People think if they go through life and just get through that its ok. Just getting by is a way of life, we live paycheck to paycheck, we do the minimum we possibly have to do to get the job done and we wonder why our lives seem so empty. I sat and thought about everything that has been challenging for me in my life the past few years.
Years ago after 9 years of marriage I was alone with two kids and a mediocre career. So I just got by. I wonder now why any of my friends stuck by me - I was so negative and bitter. I had an amazing experience after I wasted a good year on bitterness and self pity. But it changed me. I finally realized that life was more of a process if becoming than any destination that we arrive at. There is no end to learning and growing. There is no point at which we can say "I am done, I have learned everything I need to learn." So started the journey for me. It started with forgiveness of others imperfections as well as my own. I adopted the "Love myself and others where they are" philosophy that I now live. Sometimes its harder to live than other times but when I realized that is how my dear friends loved me I realized that was the true "Christlike love" that the scriptures talk about.

Realizing that none of us are perfect and treating ourselves and others with an out pour of love is just the start, then the hard part begins. This is the reality that I have come to confirm in my mind this week and it has become clear to me. I was swimming in the lake yesterday preparing for my mini tri next week and there was a lot of waves coming toward us as the boats in the water were making them. I was swimming and at a couple points I slowed down. When I slowed down I made no progress toward the place I was heading. I thought about that in respect to life. When we don't move forward we are pushed back. There is no such thing in life as just standing still. You are always moving forward or backward.

I am happiest when I am growing and know that this is an eternal principal just as work is. We cannot expect our lives to be happy as we float closer and closer to the shore when we are not moving forward.

Have you ever noticed that there are two types of people in the world? There are victims and there are those who thrive. Now there are varying degrees in each category but the concept remains. There are those who "things happen to" and those for which "things happen for." What is the difference between those groups of people? Take my example from my situation when I found myself single. It was someone else's problem that I was angry and upset and not progressing. My life was horrible because of someone else's choices. Poor me. Until I realized that I made choices too and I took responsibility for those choices and decided that I had no control over someone else but I DID have control over ME and MY happiness. That was the start of my journey of happiness. We cannot always have what we want and others agency sometimes throws a huge wrench in our lives but we can choose to keep growing and improving. The entire journey has had many waves for me but I am happy when I am growing. Taking personal responsibility for my life and my progress and setting goals that are hard to achieve has made my life happy and it has freed my spirit and allowed me to say "I can do hard things." With the Lords help all things are possible. Every wound will heal and every righteous desire will be granted, in his timingm but we have to take personal responsibility for our actions and choices and choose to live the best life we are capable of living!