The journey begins

I am going to take you on a journey with me. I hope you will enjoy the ride. This blog will be filled with thoughts from me as I reach for a goal that I have never attained.

There comes a time in your life when you just say "enough". I have been there before but not with this much resolve. I am on a journey to finally be healthy.



I have spent most of my life heavy.My addiction with food began early in life. As early as I could remember I would go to my friends' houses and I would hope that we could have a snack. I would imagine what kinds of foods they must have that we did not, and I would never be dissapointed. So much of my thought revolved around food. As far back as then I remember laying in bed and thinking about what might be for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dinner was my favorite because mom always made us eat "healthy" breakfast cereal like cracked wheat and oatmeal. Dinner was balanced but much more mainstream.



During middle school we moved from a small town in Idaho to Washington state. As my dad worked with the government they paid for our housing and food until we bought a house. We ate out most nights of the week and bought lots of yummy food. I can still remember the pepridge farm banana miffins you could put in the toaster. I looked forward to that every morning. I am sure they were packed with tons of fat and sugar but I craved those things! When we went out to eat I would eat anything fried I could get and lots of it. No self control. Like many, I found middle school to be cruel and wanted so much to fit in. I was not skinny like the other girls. I did not wear trendy clothes like the other girls but I had good friends so I made it through!! I remember saving my money and going to the snack station there and eating grandmas cookies and chips. I steadily gained weight through Jr high and High school and graduated from High school at 250 pounds. I remember one day driving with some friends from school and listening to the radio. The announcer was talking about a football line backer and said he weighed in at 250. I remember hearing the girls say how huge that was and thinking to myself "I weigh as much as a line backer but I am sure he is ALL muscle and I am just fat."
As I continued on this path of personal distruction I gained more and more weight. My self esteem suffered because of it. As a result I settled. I settled for having toxic people in my life. I settled to not be able to go places I wanted to go. I settled for dating people who were wrong. I allowed myself to keep the ball rolling.

Its not all bad though. Through the last few years I have learned some important truths I would love to share:
#1 Self WORTH is differnt than self esteem. As my mom explained it to me self esteem is what we get from the world. Its what others tell us about ourselves. It is artificial and superficial. SELF WORTH is what we should focus on because it comes from knowing WHO we really are as sons and Daughters of a living God who loves us and wants us to have all he has!
#2 You cannot rely on anyone else to make you feel good about who you are. The only true way to feel happy is by doing what you know is right and following GODS plan for you. (Not the fabulously planned out life you imagine.) The real truth is that when you follow God and you listen to what he wants for you- things turn out way better than anything you could have imagined for yourself.
#3 We are given weaknesses so that God can make them stregnths and so that others can see the miracles that are possible with him!With God all is possible!
I have learned these all through my journey of being single. God has blessed me with a lobe for myself and others and a happy cheeful heart. He has shown me how to rely on him for my support. He has shown me his mercy and he has given me more than I ever would have imagined for myself.

Last year I was married to a wonderful man who loves me and has shown me support, love and kindness. He is truly one of my greatest blessings. He has shown me how love was meant to be. I am grateful for him every day! I also have the job of my dreams (minus the working 8 hours a day) where I can provide for my family,work in VERY close proximity to where I live and work with the most wonderful people in the world!! All this has been because God spoke and I listened. Although I had no idea what he had in store I moved when he said to move, I gave up what I needed to give up and I was able to let go of what needed to be out of my life to be happy.

Now for my giant (and I believe that everyone has one) It is time to allow God to help me and once and for all to tackle my giant!!

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

Tune in---- I will let you know how my first three days have been!!